D'Oh!

Another dumb Manny Stiles List: My 57 favorite Simpsons’ sports-related references: mostly from my memory being burned by countless viewings, TV, VHS and DVDs, but also use www.snpp.com for references

In no particular order, but I’ll start with the line that spawned this post…

1 - When the star QB Stan “the Boy” Taylor explains to Homer, “Ned Flanders saved me. I used to party all night and sleep with lingerie models until Ned and his bible group showed me that I could have more.” Homer responds “Professional athletes, always wanting more…”

2 – Homer gets arrested at the Super Bowl, Troy Aikman is a pretty good dunebuggy artist and there’s no team called the Spungoes.

3 – the lame hockey game between Lisa and Bart – The hockey sucks, but the episode also has the often quoted Homer chant “Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports”

4 – The Nuclear Power Plants has a softball team! – Mattingly, Clemens, Boggs (who has his glove on wrong in the episode, hmm…), Strawberry, Canseco, Steve Sax and non-Yankees Ozzie Smith, Ken Griffey Jr. (who juices on nerve tonic and ends up with Barry Bonds’ head), Mike Scioscia (as catcher/nuclear technician).

5 – The Simpsons build a tennis court that Homer intended to be a foxy-boxy ring. Oh well, Venus and Serena with Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras end up Foxy Boxing… I mean playing tennis.

6 – Homer as the Isotopes drunken dancing mascot gets called up to the Bigs for a cup of coffee in Capitol City (…the Windy Apple)

7 – Homer goes on a hunger strike to keep the Isotopes in Springfield. Homer wins, but news flash – there really is a AAA baseball team calle the Albequerque Isotopes. Name another TV show’s episode that inspired a real professional team in such a way!

8 – Homer gets beaten (by DQ) in a title boxing match against Dreaderick Tatum.

9 – Lisa becomes a great football handicapper and Homer bonds with her watching and gambling on football.

10 – When Homer skips church he turns on the TV to see political debate, “We interrupt this public affairs program in order to bring you a football game”

11 – Magic Johnson “pulls a Homer” on National TV.

12 – When Springfield gets cut in half, Homer becomes the Mayor of Olde Springfield, he quotes “now all we have to do is sit back and wait for an NFL team…. Then a guy with a briefcase pops onto the screen and says “Hello, I represent the Arizona Cardin…” Homer interrupts “Keep walking.”

13 – After working for international mercenary Hank Scorpio, Homer who dreamed of owning Tom Landry’s hat, gets the Denver Broncos as a gift from Hank… “Aw, I wanted the Dallas Cowboys”

14 – Marge’s pretzels almost go over big at a baseball game, until HOFer Whitey Ford steps on the field at the wrong time. They end up as “Whitey whackers”

15 – Of course the very first episode has them meeting Santa’s Little Helper at the dog racetracks – dog racing is a sport

16 – Lisa Borrows “Football’s Greatest Injuries” from the library, it has a guy on the cover that looks a little too much like Joe Theismann.

17 – Marge takes ‘roids – that’s sports related.

18 – Who could forget the episode with Mark McGwire in which Bart was taking performance enhancing drugs” Focusyn – great line when Mark says: “Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?” (The crowd shouts back “dingers! Dingers!)– Art imitating life or Life imitating art?

19 – yeah, yeah golf, golf and miniature golf

20 – the first thanksgiving episode “Looks like they'll be feeding him Thanksgiving dinner through a tube. -- Sportscaster on the football player's injury”

21 – Is snake whacking a sport?

22 – Flanders hits a half-court shot during a halftime contest at a WNBA game.

23 – Homer bowls a 300 game. Lenny and Carl take the names "POO" and "ASS," leaving Homer with nothing good.

24 – The Simpsons go to a bird sanctuary that had been changed to a FASCAR race track – hilarity insues as they kill Maude and FOX uses the Simpsons to schill all of their products (like the Nascar season on FOX)

25 – Homer eats an insanity pepper at a Chili Festival grown from the inmates in a asylum deep within the jungles of Quetzaltenango – Eating is a sport

26 – Bart gets emancipated from his parents and soon begins hanging with Tony Hawk, of course who is one sporty skateboarder.

27 – Homer forgets Bart at soccer practice – Bonus points for Homer falling asleep to a game on TV that has a Bart Starr ceremony at halftime.

28 – Kamp Krusty has great athletics programs.

29 – Joe Namath has vapor lock in the episode where Bart plays QB. Johnny Unitas has an infomercial in a different episode.

30 – Homer needs serious knee surgery after trying to dunk at the YMCA, although he does break the backboard.

31 – Homer’s bear-proof suit is made mostly of athletics gear finely woven with duct tape…wait that one might be in season 16.

32 – After nerds rush the field during a football game a la “revenge of the Nerds” after Lisa does her Beauty Queen speech, headlines on next day’s paper say “Nerds Pummelled in Football Melee”

33 – Bart faith heals Springfield U’s kicker’s leg during the big game. Chernyenko gets called in to kick the game winner when his leg flies off, hits the ball again in midair and goes through to win… I’ll bet Vanderjagt wishes he could have done that!

34 – Barney Gumble and Joe Frazier get into fisticuffs over the same old topic – bad submissions on ArmchairGM.com.

35 – When Homer takes Mr Burns’ yacht into international waters, they see a ship that was rebroadcasting Major League Baseball games with implied oral consent and NOT expressed written permission.

36 – Lisa takes a dive in the Spelling bee.

37 – Jacques helps Marge learn the art of bowling. With a ball named Homer.

38 – After Homer hits Ned, the football coach with a beer can

Ned: Do you have a problem with the way I'm coaching? Homer: No! No! No no no. Its just that... well... like I was yelling earlier... seems like... anyone with half a brain can coach better than you. Ned: Uh huh! Half a brain, huh? Well, you know what? Sounds like you just volunteered! [puts cap on Homer's head and gives him the memo board] Homer: Me? But you were doing such a great job!

Gee, right after he called in to a talk radio station [Roy: Do you have a question for Sandy Koufax? Homer: Yes. Mr. Koufax, don't you think Flanders is a big jerk?]

39 – when Homer works out a the all-night “Gyme” before climbing the Murderhorn.

40 – Homer gets a gun after bedlam erupts in Springfield due to a Soccer match. Who can ever forget the action that set it off: Kent Brockman: [calling plays from booth listlessly] Halfback passes to the center. Back to the wing. Back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it. [rolls eyes] Holds it... Mexican Announcer: [excitedly] Halfback passes to center, back to wing, back to center, center holds it! Holds it! Holds it!

Then the riot begins…

41 – Bart, Milhouse and Martin squabble over a Carl Yazstremski Baseball card sporting fantastic ‘70s ‘chops.

42 – Johnny Carson twirls a ’86 Buick during Krusty’s Comeback Special.

43 – Homer kidnaps a rival school’s mascot just before the big game when he goes back to college for the first time”.

44 – Bart uses Gordie Howe’s picture to send fake love letters to Mrs Krabapple.

45 – Homer attempts to jump the Springfield gorge…unsuccessfully.

46 – Homer has a fantasy where he replaces John Elway in a big game.

47 – How many times have they been in a blimp? Blimps are always assumedly sports related.

48 – Gerry Cooney is a greeter at Burns’ Casino – and gets promptly KO’d by Otto.

49 – Bart drinks 12 glasses of water before going to bed so he can wake up early Christmas morning. In his dream, cheerleaders chant “Go, Go, Go, Go! We’re Number One! And Give me a P – ‘P!” Cheerleading is a sport.

50 – The Simpsons get a luxury box to a hockey game and are provided with final score as a perk…a hockey stick given to Lisa by a Russian player has termites.

51 – during Homer’s trial for selling his soul for the Devil’s donut, the starting line of 1976 Philadelphia Flyers serves on the jury of the damned (but why are they wearing blue?)

52 – dun-na-na-na nuna-na fishing! Also the General Sherman at Catfish lake – fishing IS a sport.

53 – The reindeer hunting homosexual Christmas episode. Hunting is also a sport.

54 – Krusty the Klown bets on the Washington Generals.

55 - When Marge egts a job at Red Blazer Realty, the tell her “Welcome to the Big Leagues”.

56 – The jockeys episode the second (or third) time the Simpsons family gets a horse.

57 – In the “Who shot Mr. Burns” special, the DNA is Simpsons DNA, referencing OJ’s trial. 57b - The Halloween Episode where Bart has super-powers and turns Homer into a field goal


So there’s a freaking list. I only did 57 because that’s why. So either you like the Simpsons and hate me why did you read this far then?), hate the Simpsons and hate me (why did you read this far then?) , love the Simpsons and can tell me I forgot something – I probably didn’t, but of course I did. Or you tolerate the madness of both Stiles and the Simpsons. Glad you enjoyed it. Maybe sometime I'll do a list with "Friends" episodes or "What's Happening, Now?"...

I didn’t use any references after season 15 because they’re just not classics yet…Simpsons is the best non sports-related show ever, and most likely because it so often references sports.