Sports Augury

From my ArmchairGM article...

In an effort to bring fresh sports opinion to the 'chair, Manny Stiles presents Sports Augury with the assistance of his good friend who shall hereby be dubbed "The Sports Shaman". Yes, he is a real person. No, this is not a joke.

I have known the Sports Shaman for years. We play music together, our families break bread together and he has taught me various ancient methods of divination; such as tarot, I Ching, Tibetan Oracle, dowsing methods, etc. as well as many ancient meditation techniques and spiritual rituals.

I approached the Sports Shaman about providing a divination for the Super Bowl.

Introduction to the Sports Shaman
The Sports Shaman knows virtually NOTHING about sports. On the occasions when I have had him to my house for visits, he has caught parts of a game or two on TV (he enjoys Steve Nash's sharing aura and teamwork attributes, but enjoys saying "Steve Nash" much more than actually watching a game). He doesn't follow sports, nor does he ever compete in sports. He prefers to read and study and doesn't even watch TV except when with others. He is an artist by "profession". He does however practice divination, modern shamanism and studies realms of anthropology in order to learn the ways of the spiritual guides that travelled before him.

The Sports Shaman sees "sports as an analog of the totality of the human experience", so while he doesn't care for the result of sport, he has always made high-level observations to the games I've had on when he was there and can seemingly tell things about the participants you and I would never stop to notice. He also recognizes the social impact of professional sports and wonders aloud "Are the players in sport key characters in the cosmic scheme or is it just a game?"

The Sports Shaman will often ask questions as a way of communicating, it is usually very Zen. "What does it mean?", "Is it an omen?", "What is the impact?" are questions that you hear frequently in his presence (and "presence" is a good term for it)

Sports Shaman is a living sports "tableau rosa", meaning blank slate. He knows as much about sports as you know about "augury", and he knows more about divination methods than you know about sports. He doesn't root, cheer or even care about sports. When I first approached him about providing a fortune telling session about the Super Bowl, the Sports Shaman was leery. I had to explain the relevance and importance of the Super Bowl (he was familiar with the "big game", but had never watched one), he then told me that augury was usually reserved for only the most important rituals and the "Super Bowl seemed important enough to splay". I had no idea what he was talking about. He then proceeded to show me a few "specimens" ripe for sacrifice, went into the explanation of how augury works and even asked me which sacrifice would be most appropriate.

Augury is an ancient method of fortune telling in which you have a ceremony to sacrifice a goat (or sheep, although goats are preferred) by hanging it from it's rear hooves and disembowelling the creature. Then as the innards fall to the ground, they are "splayed" about in a manner that you can divine the future from interpreting where they lay.

At that point, I said "How about just a plain old tarot reading". The Sports Shaman sheepishly agreed. But I told him I'm using the term "Augury" for the article title anyway. (Hell, I'm doing a series of these!)

He had to prepare the "set and setting" for the reading and after some bit of debate and near-begging, he allowed me to take notes for the purpose of sharing the reading on ArmchairGM.com. He would not allow me to tape or video record the event as electronic items were not allowed in the reading room due to magnetic resonance decaying the energy of the reading.
(Manny's take -oooooh... kayyyyyeee)

the Sports Shaman's Super Bowl Tarot Reading
This is a description of actual events. The reading took place yesterday with a Crowley adapted Rider-Waite deck (I should have had a reading BEFORE the Mega Bowl of Chess, dammit). The readings are actual and true and were not altered by any of my "wishes, wants or anticipations" but in parenthesis is my take on the translations. The Sports Shaman has never been to Indianapolis or Chicago. Those unfamiliar with tarot readings need to understand that the laying out of cards is NOT a future telling method, but similar to the laying down of a picture and interpreting it's meaning.

I am told to enter the room in reverse, as if re-entering the womb. This is to represent travelling to a space where will and ego are lost and only truth, spirit and energy can thrive. Ok, done.

I sit in the room which suddenly transforms into a psychic chamber and am made acutely aware of "mystic vapors" including white sage, copal resin, valerian root, wild dagga, sandalwood, galangal and alpine turmeric (this is similar to Aleister Crowley's favorite mix). Also, there is ceremonial tobacco in the form of a nice n' fat Dominican cigar.
(Manny's take - I'll take a nice stogie over goat guts anyday).

We agree to do two standard "cross" readings (see attached diagram), one for each team. I wonder who we should read first. Sports Shaman suggests a double sacred coin selection method in which we first determine with one coin who will be heads and who will be tails, then flip the second coin to see who gets read first. Both coins end up heads (bet ehads on the coin toss, y'all) and it determines that the Colts get read first.

There is the triple shuffle, triple cut, off-hand selection method used to lay the cards.


This is a standard 'cross' tarot spread Indianapolis Colts Spread
Five cards are laid face down in the "cross" and are turned over one at a time.

Colts Card One - Center/Present Position
Seven of Cups - "Debauch" - Venus in Scorpio
This card represents over-confidence, over-indulgence or hubrus
The Colts may be celebrating more than neccessary, may be getting greedy or just happy that they're there

(Manny's take - Are the Colts more happy they beat the Pats than they are playing in the Super Bowl?)

Colts Card Two - Psychic/Spirit Position
Princess of Disks
A cinderella figure with hidden powers; earthy yet subdued figure with a helmet that has rams' horns attached
Element on the brink of transfiguration

(Manny's take - The Colts have some mind games up their sleeves... trick plays?)

Colts Card Three - Instinct Position
Ten of Wands - "Oppression" - Saturn in Sagittarius
The wands are black with fire and have mean heads
crossed powers of completed energy that have lost their patents of nobility
forces detached from spiritual purpose

(Manny's take - Will the Colts deviate from what got them here, lose their instinct?)

Colts Card Four - Past Position (leads up to present position)
Knight of Disks
Grounded and securer of earth, the knight is sitting on a horse(Colts!!!); down to earth with the power of violence in use of defense, may indicate a stong defense
Sports Shaman explains this might represent a particular person or leader and also warns that this card leads into the first position "Debauch" and that a defense should be cautioned to not be overconfident.

(Manny's take - Umm... this card represents Tony Dungy, what they went through and his getting the Colts there with his demeanor and strong defensive mind)

Colts Card Five - Future Position (travels beyond present position)
Ten of Disks - "Wealth" - Mercury in Virgo
A deceptive card that indicates the fultility of material gain, but could also mean success if they avoid greed and pitfalls
Normally a great card to get in a reading, but after "debauch" it could lead to meaningless success

(Manny's take - Sounds like a Colts victory to me, but they still end up getting disrespected for some reason)

Sports Shaman's Colts Spread Translation
"The anticipation of wealth may be the drive to win over the true purpose of winning, which is to be the best."

"They should play to strengths, avoid over-confidence and stay grounded in the powers of the Knight (Coach Dungy?) that got them there. Overall, a lot of earth signs"

(Manny's take - Maybe the Colts should stick to the ground game...)




Chicago Bears Spread
The air of seriousness and tension is broken when we begin the Bears reading. Sports Shaman says "da Bears!" catching me offguard (and I almost lose it completely... Apparently he's seen some SNL). The cards are reshuffled in the prescribed manner and five cards are laid face down in the "cross" and are turned over one at a time.

Bears Card One - Center/Present Position
Seven of Disks - Failure - Saturn in Taurus
(Uh, oh Bears fans...) Doesn't look good, but could be surprising
Could mean failing OR afraid of failing, meaning that could push them to trying HARDER. Could be present doubt, but they are not over confident
The good side is, honorable work undertaken for the love of work with no expectation of material gain.
Sports Shaman points out this is exactly opposite of the Colts future card.

(Manny's take - The Bears are toast)

Bears Card Two - Psychic/Spirit Position
Three of Swords - "Sorrow" - Saturn in Libra
Low Morale, darkness of the great sea, delay; absence and separation
May have discord and strife among the team on spiritual level

(Manny's take - Grossman vs Urlacher?)

Bears Card Three - Instinct Position
Ten of Cups - "Happiness" Mars in Pisces
Can overcome spiritual discord due to lack of confidence
They will work harder, practice harder to overcome lack of confidence

(Manny's take - they ARE the NFC team, they need to wok harder)

Bears Card Four - Past Position (leads up to present position)
Five of Wands - "Strife" - Saturn in Leo
Sports Shamen mumbles "a lot of Saturn cards, Jupiter... outer planets"
(this card tells a lot and has three layers)
Purely active force, balanced energy
Five of wands is "chief adept" to Cadusius - Sports Shaman draws a comparison to the medical symbol of the staff and snake, Cadusius and wonders aloud if the Bears have had injuries! (Umm... YEAH!)
"secondarily adept" to "Phoenix" overcoming; new born from the ashes of old (maybe it just refers to the Cardinals Monday night game?)
"Third adept" is the lotus, or unfolding of energy; opening up.

(Manny's take - OK, my head is spinning now)

Bears Card Five - Future Position (travels beyond present position)
Adjustment - "Justice" - VIII
(the first "trump card" pulled. Trumps carry more power than suited and face cards)
Represents a woman (or female energy) satisfied, symbolized by the scales in which she weighs the universe. Indication is that only through overcoming continued strife of past will they overcome morale issues. They need balance.

(Manny's take - If the Bears keep the game close early, feel like they can hang with the Colts and get confidence, they could win)

Sports Shaman's Bears Spread Translation
"Their view of the contest takes place on a larger scale than that of the opposition. Their lives and souls are involved more than personal pride. It's a trial, epiphany; over recognition and financial gain"

"It seems the Bears will have a harder time winning but would result in a more enjoyable and more significant victory."

(Manny's take - the Bears are toast, or IF they can overcome the struggles within, they will go down as a memorable Super Bowl winner!)

Cut Readings
Cut readings are made by shuffling the deck in the standard manner and reading the card pulled. For this part, we chose to do individual readings for the offense, defense and special teams for each team. The card would define significant questions and strategic realities they will encounter.

Colts Offense Card - Ace of Disks
The first card of the suit of disks. Disks typically represent money, wealth, material gain and general success.
Sports Shaman says "Colts have a lot of disks. Ace is the arche..." and he paused to cough...) "archetype of earth or material gain." (It sounded like he said "Archie"! Keep in mind Sports Shaman couldn't tell Peyton Manning from Carol Channing, but that was weird!)
This card has a spiritual origin and Sports Shaman finds it weird that this card came up, but doesn't quite explain why... "it's primitive earth. The twin sister of air AND it's bride; earth and matter as such, the whirling planet" (the ball perhaps?).

Sports Shaman pauses, then states "staying on the ground is the way to go"

(Manny's take - It's "weird" all right, this card is Peyton Manning and he better stick to the ground game with an earth card)

Bears Offense" Nine of Disks - "Gain" - Venus in Virgo
has a lot to do with trios. Completion of material gain.
Trios very important, thrice three is important

(Manny's take - three field goals perhaps? Three Running Backs, Three recievers?)

Colts Defense The Lovers - VI - another trump card
Openness to inspiration and intuition
It has a distinct negative quality of superficiality
Shows the use of intellectual processes in uniting two elements

(Manny's take - The Colts may have to adapt their gameplan to the situation)

Bears Defense Four of Wands - "Completion" - Venus in Aries
Original will of two transmitted through three is now built into a solid system of order

(Manny's take - Sports Shaman just grinned like he knew EXACTLY what that meant, I am completely baffled as to how it applies)

Colts Special Teams Princess of Swords
Materialization of the idea and incarnation of the dynamic eruption

(Manny's take - Will the Colts run one back?)

Bears Special Teams Adjustment - VIII
Sports Shaman seems displeased for the Bears; "that was also their future outcome" in the cross reading

(Manny's take - Things are clearly stacked against the Bears)

Overall Cut Readings
Two simple questions, Two cards that's it.
Question One: I draw the card...

How will the game play out?
Two of Wands - "Domination" - Mars in Aries
Sports Shaman says "Domination. That's all you gotta write"

(Manny's takes - 1- Sports Shaman was getting obviously annoyed by my slowing down of the reading by taking notes the whole time and 2- Obviously I wrote more)

I draw the second card to answer...

What is the Outcome?
The Card - Death - XIII - another trump card
While most people would see the "Death" card as a bad omen, it really isn't. It represents the Phoenix rising, a rebirth of new from the ashes of the old. Every time something dies, something new grows up from it. It also favors the underdog and leaves things unclear for a time of settling.

(Manny's take - Peyton sheds the choker label, but has a mediocre game?)

The final analysis of the reading
Sports Shaman and I agreed that it seemed to favor the Colts in dominating fashion. But it seems they won't win unless they stick to the ground. Maybe the Special Teams will provide the difference. Peyton will get the win and have a less than mediocre game while the Bears will play valiently and take pride in what they have accomplished. Sports Shaman also hinted there might be signs that it is actually a conclusion for the Colts and a begining for the Bears.

It's not that the Bears can't win, it'll just take too many things to have that happen. If the Colts are overconfident, the Bears will win easily. I just don't see Tony Dungy allowing his players to get cocky.

Maybe losing the Super Bowl will fuel the Bears to greater heights next season and winning might signal the end of a fairly dominant Colts run.

So take from this what you choose, but choose wisely.